DEAR MOM…
[Ten years ago, I wrote a short story in Tamil titled Anbulla Ammavukku (அன்புள்ள அம்மாவுக்கு), which was published in Thendral Monthly magazine in the US. Since then, many readers have requested me to translate the story into English. As love surpasses all languages, I am happy to share the same story translated to English on this Mother’s Day. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental]
27th June 1980.
Dear Mom,
How are you ? Hope Anna, Manni and their son Nattu are all doing well. I guess Nattu is completing his degree this year. Did he attend any campus interview for a job ?
Here I am just existing. There is no problem with money or material comforts. If Shankar leaves in the morning, you never know what time he comes back at night. The lady who does the cooking in our house, also leaves in the afternoon. It is such a big house, but it is always empty. I still don’t know what type of person Shankar is. We hardly communicate with each other. On Sundays we could talk a little, that too he talks only about his business which I don’t understand anything about. I don’t have any work to do here. Servants do all the chores. I spend my time just eating and listening to the radio. How many days can I go on like this ?
Out of boredom, one day I sewed the name “Charu-Shankar” in colorful embroidery on his handkerchief and showed it to him. He just said “nice” in an unexpressive tone and walked away. No other concerning words from him. I felt like crying. He doesn’t have an aesthetic sense. You and Anna taught me so many things and raised me to be enthusiastic and artistic. I learned so many things like music, dance, veena, tailoring, cooking, etc. It seems like he does not appreciate these things.
Do you remember the song, “Naan Andri Yaar Varuvaar”, we all often listen with great fondness, and Anna always mentions that the song was rendered by T.R.Mahalingam in an unusual low pitch, along with A.P.Komala ? One day I was listening to that song on the radio at high volume, with my eyes closed, relishing the beauty of the ragas Abhogi and Valaji aesthetically employed in the melody. The song stopped in the middle abruptly. I thought it was due to some electricity breakdown. But it was Shankar who was talking to someone on the phone, and switched off the radio, without even asking me. I felt a surge of tears. I didn’t have the courage to confront and ask. Disappointment and tears flooded in. What sort of a man is he ?
You and Anna urged me to marry Shankar because he comes from a well-off family and did not ask for dowry and only the lucky few get such an offer. There is no complaints about the comfort. But he lacks patronage. He is always concerned about his business only. Beyond that, there is a wife and a life, which he never realizes.
I don’t know what to do. At first, I thought I shouldn’t even write this to you. But I couldn’t control it. It felt like I had to express it to someone. That’s why I wrote it. It’s a god-written fate, what else can I do? I have to go through the pain. Ok, I will stop my lament. Convey my regards to Anna, and Manni. Take care of your health.
Lovingly,
Charu
18 July 1980
My dear Charu,
My blessings. I got your letter dated 27th June 1980. Here your brother and sister-in-law are doing well. Nattu is busy preparing for his final exams.
You have written something bad about your husband. Every parent ensures a good match when fixing wedding proposals. In a conjugal relationship, admiration between each other is purely personal and based on the upbringing of the individual. Not sure, if you still remember this. When your father passed away, you were just three years old. Your brother was about nineteen or twenty. He left his studies in the middle, and started going to work. I was teaching music to the children in the neighborhood. Only from these meager earnings, we managed to run our family.
But with good care and pampering, we did not let you notice all the sufferings when you were growing up. We made arrangements for you to learn music, dance, and tailoring besides your academics. After scrutinizing the wedding proposal, we got you married to Shankar. Shankar assured me and your brother not to worry about you anymore, as he would take good care of you. We all felt very proud when people that came to your wedding said that Charu was very lucky to get married to an affluent family.
Now you have written this letter accusing your husband Shankar. Maybe the reason could be the environment he grew up in. He is young and his family has been deeply involved in business for generations. Shankar may be thinking that if he puts hard labor in business now, everything else will be easier and better in the future. Therefore, he may not pay much attention to other trivial matters. But you have written as if Shankar is treating you harshly. It looks very childish ma.
It has only been three months since you got married. You are blowing things out of proportion. If you feel he does not understand you, then you should understand him and follow him. Why do you expect him for everything? If he doesn’t talk to you, you go and talk to him. You have learnt typewriting and shorthand. Go to his office and volunteer to offer some help in his work. Even if he does not appreciate your help, just accept it, there is nothing wrong with it.
Charu, as far as I could see, Shankar does not seem to be a hard hearted person. In front of me, he even assured Nattu that he would arrange for his job, once Nattu completed his exams. I guess your husband is good at yielding to others. Since men spend more time outdoors, they may face numerous issues. They are constantly thinking how to manage all of that. Now I am beginning to worry that if I had pampered you so much to raise you so selfishly.
If you put your heart and mind to it, everything will change to your liking. So, you change first. He will definitely change. Don’t you know, persistence never fails? The issue is very very small. Don’t worry. I know you are smart. You will understand and realize quickly what I wrote here. So, be patient and change your behavior.
I have sent Tiruchendur leaf vibhuti prasad with this. Do all the prayers without fail, and your well-being is assured. My blessings and regards to my son-in-law.
Love and Blessings.
Amma
 | From: | Mridhula Jagdeesh <mridula@ > |
| To: | Amma <charu.shankar@ > | |
| Date: | December 07, 2013, 12:35:04 AM | |
| Hi Charumma….. How are you ? How is Dad ? Jagdeesh is very weird now a days. I already mentioned about this to you in my earlier email lightly. I think he is having an affair with his office secretary Shirley. You know something, two days ago, he gifted her some wine hamper and came home very late 😡. I think he is up to something. I want to talk to him, about my future..Before that, I want to get your opinion. Reply soon. Love Mridhu ❤️ | ||
| From: | Charu Shankar <charu.shankar@ > |
| To: | Mridhu <mridhula@ > | |
| Date: | December 08, 2013, 09:35:14 PM | |
| Dear Mridhu, What happened to you and Jagdeesh ? After two year of getting to know each other fully well, you both got married, right?. You emailed me and your dad as if you and Jay were happy in America ?! You sent cheerful photos of you two also.. Now what’s going on…? Give more details. With love Charumma | ||
| From: | Mridhula Jagdeesh <mridula@ > |
| To: | Amma <charu.shankar@ > | |
| Date: | December 21, 2013, 11:05:04 AM | |
| Hi Charumma….. Everything was fine before the wedding ma. For few days something is not right. We fequetnly go out for dinner before. We watched movies together. We used to go together for paragliding, and bunjee jumping. Also we both ride our bicycles for about five miles everyday. Even for cycling, Jay is not showing any interest. He is always preoccupied with his business and he travels a lot. I think that Shirley is also following him wherever he goes. Now we do not talk to each other. I feel very insecured. Jagdeesh was in a high paying job. Suddenly he left it and started some startup company. Now he is running around like maniac. I work and earn decent salary. Why should he leave his job and run like a dog for this startup business ? He is not giving out full details to me. I asked him about it via email and he replied two days later, saying I wouldn’t understand his explanation. I got really angry 😡. What an insult 😩! Now I have no other option. I am planning to talk to the lawyer. Love Mridhu ❤️ | ||
| From: | Charu Shankar <charu.shankar@ > |
| To: | Mridhu <mridhula@ > | |
| Date: | December 21, 2013, 08:35:56 AM | |
| Dear Mridhu, I want you to take a moment and calm down. Your father and I named you Mridhula to represent a soft and gentle personality, but it seems like you are quite headstrong. I showed your email to your dad, and he was saddened by your childish behavior. Do you think that going to the movies and eating out are the only things that lead to a happy life? Also, you mentioned that Jagdeesh is having a bad relationship with someone, but I don’t believe that’s true. Doubt can be a dreadful disease, so please check thoroughly. From what we know, Jay is a responsible person. Don’t let your doubts run wild. Think carefully and explore the facts. With love Charumma | ||
| From: | Mridhula Jagdeesh <mridula@ > |
| To: | Amma <charu.shankar@ > | |
| Date: | February 14, 2014, 01:15:45 AM | |
| Hi Charumma….. I wanted to update you that my suspicions about Jagadeesh were wrong 🙏. I hired a private detective agency to investigate, and they found that Jagadeesh is clean and has no bad relationship with Shirley 😍. I feel relieved and now believe that Jay is a good person 🥰. It turns out that he gifted the wine hamper to a prospective venture capitalist. I apologize for my mistake. 🙏🙏🙏🙏 However, Jay is indifferent and not his usual self 😖🤬. Love Mridhu ❤️ | ||
| From: | Charu Shankar <charu.shankar@ > |
| To: | Mridhu <mridhula@ > | |
| Date: | February 14, 2014, 10:15:45 AM | |
| Dear Mridhu, Now I am very happy. As I already told you Jay is not that kind of a person. At least now you have realized that. You are saying he is not his usual self. But what about you ? You are not paying attention to anything other than your job and office work. Looks like, Jay wants to progress little more in life. Since it is relatively easier to do business in the US, there is nothing wrong for him to try it out. There are a lot of things that need to be shared between a couple. However, in the process of sharing, it’s possible to risk losing a lot. This is where it’s important to let go of one’s ego. As the family grows and time passes, these issues will likely seem insignificant. You like cycling, right ? Our life is like a bicycle Mridhu. Only if the rear wheel runs smoothly will the front wheel run. So stay behind and be a driving force for Jagdeesh. Living requires sacrifices. Without sacrifices, life is incomplete and meaningless. Please understand. Happy Valentines day.🌹 With love Charumma | ||
| From: | Mridhula Jagdeesh <mridula@ > |
| To: | Amma <charu.shankar@ > | |
| Date: | February 15, 2014, 09:15:45 AM | |
| Hi Charumma….. Sorry ma ! You are still old fashioned. How can I be the only one to sacrifice in life? Don’t I have equal rights ? Jay is free to do as he pleases, but I should not ?! Is this fair? When I also share, why should I lose more ? It’s funny ! Love Mridhu ❤️ | ||
| From: | Charu Shankar <charu.shankar@ > |
| To: | Mridhu <mridhula@ > | |
| Date: | February 15, 2014, 10:15:45 PM | |
| Dear Mridhu, I thought you were intelligent, but apparently you’re not. Why do you both have such big egos? Can’t you see that there is no love between you? Even if you’re physically together, being united in mind is essential for a healthy relationship. You are misinterpreting the equal rights. Equal rights mean shared responsibilities for husband and wife. There may be differences of opinion between two of you. However, it should not be overstretched to the point that it negatively impacts your life. Develop a higher tolerance level and a positive attitude towards change. Welcome a healthy exchange of ideas and maintain an open mind. Remember that winning is not always the ultimate goal. Instead, aim to have a productive and respectful discussion where everyone’s perspective is valued. Winning can lead to pride and ego, which are not constructive. It’s a common misconception that submission and kindness are signs of weakness. Even I used to think that way when I was your age, Mridhu. You are well-educated and have more experience of worldly things than me. Please don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement. Take some time to think patiently, and you will understand. Can I offer you some advice? Consider taking a long leave from your job and going to Jay’s office. You can help him with his business and learn a lot from him. Initially, you might not understand everything, but it will give you an opportunity to learn and be with Jay. When I was your age, I had the same regrets as you. However, I didn’t realize it for a long time, which caused a big rift between me and your father. I ended up staying at my mother’s house for about six months. Your father gave up his business and everything for my stubbornness. Looking back, I was foolishly arrogant to think that I had won something by acting that way when in reality, I had lost a lot. Afterwards, we faced significant losses in life. It was only then that the things my mother said began to make sense. I changed myself. We worked hard to bring his fallen business back to normal. I provided him with my full support throughout the process. There is so much to say Mridhu. I have scanned and attached the letters written by my mother, i.e. your grandmother. What my mother had told me, through the letters, now your mother is telling through the emails. Read the scanned letters and you will understand. With love Charumma | ||
| From: | Mridhula Jagdeesh <mridula@ > |
| To: | Amma <charu.shankar@ > | |
| Date: | March 16, 2014, 10:15:45 AM | |
| Hi Charumma….. I apologize for not emailing you in a while, but I wanted to let you know that I understood your message fully well. Jay and I are on good terms now. Unfortunately, due to contractual obligations with the venture capitalists, Jay was unable to share any specific details with me about the business. This is also the reason why he couldn’t provide any specific information to you and dad when you called him several times. I hope this clears things up. We have started promoting our product through our own startup business and we are getting positive feedback. I left my old job and I am now a co-owner of Jay’s Company. Shirley has been a tremendous help to our business. I made an error in judgment about Jay due to my haste. Jay and I are planning to travel to India next month. Charumma, I found grandma’s letters to be quite interesting. It’s amazing how her words about love and compassion are still relevant to this day, regardless of how much ever the times have changed. The way you shared your personal experience with me was truly valuable. I now realize the big mistake I was making before. I am extremely grateful ma. Charumma, I will keep all the grandma’s letters and your emails forever. They will be useful for my children in the future. Although we celebrate Mother’s Day only once a year, I feel that every day should be a day to appreciate and cherish all that our mothers do for us. Love Mridhu ❤️ | ||
[Ten years ago, I wrote a short story in Tamil titled Anbulla Ammavukku (அன்புள்ள அம்மாவுக்கு), which was published in Thendral Monthly magazine in the US. Since then, many readers have requested me to translate the story into English. As love surpasses all languages, I am happy to share the same story translated to English on this Mother’s Day. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental]