Kandhar Anubhuthi – Verse 17 Day 17

pErAsai enum piNiyil piNipattu
OrA vinaiyEn uzhalath thagumO
veerA mudhusUr padavEl eRiyunj
sUrA suralOga thurandharanE!

Vedaant: Hey, Apurva, today’s verse is a poignant plea from Arunagirinathar to Lord Muruga. He asks, “Perasai enum piniyil pinipattu” – Is it fitting for a sinner like me, entangled in the disease of excessive desire, to suffer like this?

Apurva: Oh wow! Even Arunagirinathar, a great devotee, felt he had excessive desire? What kind of greed could he possibly have had? Money? Fame?

Vedaant: (Smiles) Not worldly greed, Apurva. It could be a subtle ego-driven desire, like ‘God belongs only to me’ or ‘I am the greatest devotee’. Or perhaps even the intense desire for liberation from the cycle of birth and death.

Apurva: So, a kind of ‘spiritual greed,’ like wanting to be the “first-bench devotee”? But how can one be without desire when seeking God? Is even desiring ‘moksha’ (liberation) considered excessive desire?

Vedaant: That’s the depth of this verse. A devotee who has completely surrendered has no desires. They leave everything to Muruga’s will. That’s why Arunagirinathar calls himself “Ora vinaiyen” – a sinner who hasn’t performed any good deeds, asking if it’s right for him to suffer.

Apurva: Aha! So, even when we go to temples or do good deeds, we’re doing it with a certain expectation or desire, like “Muruga will bless me if I do this”?

Vedaant: You got it! True devotion goes beyond even that desire, surrendering with the feeling, ‘No matter what you do, I am yours.’ Arunagirinathar praises Muruga as “Veera” – the valorous one, “Muthu Soor pada Vel eriyum Soora” – the hero who threw his Vel to destroy Sooran, and “Sura Loga Thurandharane” – the protector of the Devas. He asks, when you are there, why am I suffering like this?

Apurva: Wow! So, it’s like asking with a sense of entitlement, “You are here to remove my suffering, why should I suffer?” It sounds like the cry of a child! So, what is the takeaway Vedaant?

Vedaant: Here is the Takeaway:

1. Subtlety of Desire: Excessive desire isn’t just about money or material things. Even ego-driven thoughts like ‘I am good,’ ‘I am a great devotee,’ or expectations like ‘God should do this for me’ are forms of subtle greed.

2. Surrender: In a state of complete surrender, there are no desires. God’s will becomes our will. It is then that liberation from suffering is attained.

Apurva: Got it! Less “asking” and more “trusting.” If I leave the steering wheel to Muruga, I don’t have to worry about the destination!

Vedaant: (Laughs) Exactly! Whether we let go of our desires or not, He never lets go of us. See you tomorrow for the next verse!

Muruga Charanam!